{AHW PROJECT} WHO IS AN AWESOME, HAPPY WOMAN, ANYWAY?!

So, who is an awesome, happy woman? 

Is this the one that is watching me from the cover of a magazine in a shop, while I am in my comfy, old jeans waiting in the line to pay for the food, which I will cook by myself for my man and me? Is she the awesome one? Is she the one that every woman wants to be in her skin? Is she “the happy one”? 
 Having friends in a fashion industry show me that the girls that are smiling to us from different magazines are most of the time the most sad ones. The ones that try (and must) be perfect all the time: perfect shape, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect nails,.. The ones that have a big amount of a pressure from their agents, from people that expecting that they never gain a single gram, and mostly the biggest pressure and “should” issue that they have is usually coming from themselves. Did you ever have chance to hang around with all those “cover girls”? Did you ever see how unhealthy they live? Of course not all of them, but do you think that smoking a lot (so they don’t feel hunger), drinking tones of coffee and eating almost nothing is a long term good for their quality of life?

 Do you think that the pressure that you have to look perfect all the time is happiness? Do you think that all the glitter and sparkling around them make them feel beautiful, comfortable, satisfied and calm?

So, if I measure – being on the cover of the magazine for the price: of big pressure, stress, health issues and eating disorder… I rather take my cup cake and smile even when I see in the mirror the dear Fat come uninvited to visit my booty...

If you ask me, we resolve the question around “cover girls” (not)being the awesome and happy one... in my opinion they definitely aren’t (but I never claimed that they don’t look good or that in some way they aren’t successful – of course they are, they are awesome but for what price?) I just somehow felt that I must start with those group of girls, because we have to admit that we all do daydreaming while we seating on the toilet looking gossip magazines and somehow wish to be like them, maybe not totally but maybe just a little bit… we feel that this is what is missing to be perfectly satisfied with ourselves... but once again I learned this is wrong thinking… veeery wrong! :)

So, who is awesome, happy woman?

It’s actually such a simple and short answer… you know when you see her! 

She is the one that looks fabulous in a white shirt and blue jeans and messy hair (but don’t imagine know Adriana Lima!). She is the one that feels like a fresh air when she comes in to the room. She is the one that while walking to you looks like million dollars, the one that smiles and love life. The one that don’t have to be the prettiest one, the skinnier one, wearing the most expensive, last fashion clothes. She is just herself and she loves to be herself. She feels at peace, she feels secure, she feels lucky to be alive, she loves people and she loves that people loves her. 

You know … the awesome, happy woman is the one that makes you ask yourself : “she is not top model, she is not fucking enormously rich, she is not next Oprah, what the hell is so fucking awesome on her?! Why is she so special?! It’s something on that woman…”

Yes, it is – it’s called attitude... attitude toward life, attitude toward herself, attitude toward other people.

 Nobody born being awesome (but I believe we all born happy and forget it somewhere between childhood and trying to be an adult person… when we become serious, because adult life is serious... such a crap – life is simple, we are just making it complicated). As I said nobody born awesome and I believe this is something we can learn, the same is with the happiness… we can learn to be happy again, to find the happiness in ourselves (you won’t find it in new Birkin bag, not even in a closet full of Louboutins, not even on a fancy trip to Hawaii, maybe in a marzipan cake, but not sure even for that … if you searching happiness outside yourself it’s time to learn first lesson – you can find happiness only in yourself and only you can make yourself happy! 

The most awesome, happy woman don’t always wear Louboutins, they enjoy life in a flip flops while – yes, they enjoy the feeling of sand on Hawaii bitch in front of their holiday house… my point is not to convince you that luxury life isn’t good – no, my point is to make you believe that luxury life is awesome but only if you are first happy on inside out and not opposite).

But why is good to be awesome (I know you are already thinking that you are just not the one that can be awesome, because you are not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, … But STOP immediately because yes, you can be awesome! I promise you…)

 So why is good to be awesome? Because it makes you happy! If you feel awesome, you have good self esteem, if you have good self esteem you enjoy life more, you are more open to people, you are more open to different situations, you are happy. And you are no longer afraid to be alone, because even when you are, you feel good because you are in company of yourself!

Sometimes (yes, it happens also to me) being awesome seems like mission impossible… and yes, I am on the same road of transformation just like you are... and I have bad days when I just feel ugly, fat, stupid, like I didn’t succeed nothing, like everything is shitty… but than I say to myself “Hey, you! Look how far you have come! And I use empowerment self talk, motivate myself and move on... and I say to myself it was just a bad day, it doesn’t have to be bad week or bad month.

After reading dozens and dozens of different books, web sites, talking to people, I realized that only way to be awesome and to have awesome life – being happy – is when you love yourself and when you have belief in something (some call it God, other Mother nature, some call it Universe, other Love, named it whatever just believe in something – if nothing else believe in yourself)… but to make things easier, because YES it is the hardest thing to accept yourself perfectly and to love yourself unconditionally, I’ll wrote down 7 points that I believe, awesome people most posses, “must be”:

1. Being passionate about life - Being in love: with yourself, with life, with people, with nature, … and show it out loud! Searching always for love, for things you love, for people you love, for situations you love, …
2. Being thankful:  for even the smallest things & moments… make it like a little ritual every day – take 10 minutes and be thankful (I do that at the night when I lye down in the bad, just before I felt asleep… I believe this is the best way to end day!)
3. Being capable of mastering your mind: (no over reacting, no obsessing, no controlling, no “what if…” just simple, empowerment, rational thinking, focusing on things that you love and talk and think about them and not opposite, don’t complain about things you hate, don’t focus on them... just ignore.)
4. Being capable of playing: don’t be a grumpy, serious woman! Nobody likes them, and nobody wants to be that! Play like you when you were child – but in your way… play with your dog, make crazy, funny games with your man (me and Igor loves to jump one on each other, fighting over chocolate, pushing fingers in each other nose, ears, … just don’t give a shit about how it looks like and having fun.. we take Wii and we play bowling, we push each other, we are smiling, arguing… it feels so good and so relaxing.. it feels like you can be you!)
5. Being capable to Imagine, imagine, imagine! Visualize… visualize about life you want, about what you want to become, about shoes you want, about job you want, about everything… imagine yourself being an awesome, happy women and I bet you will become one! You just have to know what an awesome, happy woman means to you! If you don’t believe me, believe to awesome, “everydaybadhairday” guy – Einstein!
6. Being capable to discover what makes you happy, what is your heart desire: when you will discover, when you will feel what is why you were born for, what you enjoy in, what is that you love to do so much that when you do it you forget on everything else and hours passed as minutes, you will know what your heart desire is … and no matter how bad you will feel on daily bases, you will always be capable to go to that what you love to do and it will make you feel better immediately!
7. Being capable to recognize what are your goals: lifetime goals, yearly goals, daily goals… you have 100 percent more chances to make it, to succeed if you know what your goals are and if you make steps to achieve them. It will give the purpose to life, it will make you happier. If you don’t know what your goals are start at point 6 – first discover what you love and where your heart is. Find your dreams.

Those are the basics – I could wrote so much more, but enough for today… It’s important to know what an awesome, happy woman is – what matters and how is possible to achieve it. Every just every girl can be an awesome, happy woman! Let’s walk together on our road to transformation – I am here for you and I believe you are there for me!

Love, Ania.