{WAG's COLUMN}

 {TOO PROUD} TO BE A WAG

So being a wag, ha? 

First of all, do you know what synonym wag means? A wag is a girlfriend or wife of a professional athlete – first it was used just for a football player’s partners and the first and most known wag was of course our adorable Victoria Beckham… but I don’t want to pretend I am a Wikipedia and teaching you new phrases, what I want to wrote about is what and who wag really is.

Why?

Because I am one of them.

Wag for me isn’t every girlfriend or wife of a professional athlete. And no, a real wag to me doesn’t (necessary) mean that she is a rich bitch, who spend guy’s money, which don’t know anything else but shopping, shopping and maybe some manicure and sun bathing.

Sorry, but you're also not a wag to me and you can’t really talk or judge wags – if you never moved for your man or if you stayed with him just in your little tinny hometown. Because the last thing a real wag needs is someone to judge her…

Lately I have had a few personal issues, I start to thinking about what is happening with my life, where I go… my university status didn’t really make improvement (even if I am really just a two fucking exams away from finishing it), I don’t have a job, I am full of  (wonderful) ideas, but feeling so trapped and desperate.

When you choose love, when you choose being with a professional athlete, you choose to leave your old life and start new one. Starting new life in new country. Maybe that sounds easier than it is. Maybe lots of you would like to start brand new life and yes it’s kinda interesting, especially in the first year. But than, it trashes you. It feels like suddenly someone throw all the street garbage at you and feeling like a cloud of loneliness is following you around.

When you settle down, when you get your ordinary routine, you start to miss your old life. You start to miss your family and friends, your city, your routines… but that is not the biggest problem – you get used to see them through skype, facebook and other (great) networks and it works for you.

 The bigger problem is if you are like me, really proud and really ambitions at the same time.

Proud in the meaning that you think and feel awful because you are living and depending from your man’s money and ambitious in the meaning that you want to reach the top because you feel that you can.

Ambitious in the way that you know that you can successed in your desire, in your dreams, mine is to work for a magazine.

Ambitious in the way that you know that if you would live in your country, speaking your language, knowing your people that you would already make it.

 But here, living in a country where you can barely speak fluent enough not to embarrass yourself, option to start working at your dream job (or at least similar one) is equal to zero.

And if I go back for the moment on the judging us, wags, from girls that never “walked in our shoes” plus feeling too proud and embarrassed to living from your man’s money you get some pretty tragic/comic feelings.

Tragic because (especially at the beginning) their opinion is quite similar to yours and you are angry (on them and on yourself) when you hear them speaking “I could never live from his money” (but not feeling embarrassed to take his money for her’s new pair of shoes or lovely bag) knowing that they are judging you and start feeling less worth. 

But at the same time comic remembering the words of an older wag that said me once: “I left my whole life behind, I make everything for him, I am a good housewife and I am taking care for all things related to our home and his career, so he can focus just on his “job”. I moved here because of him and I think the last thing that can come up to my mind is to be embarrassed to living from his money.” And I couldn’t agree more. It isn’t always just about bringing home your monthly payment, is so much more than that... and this is something not everybody can understand. 

And yes I can’t help myself not to be a little bit hilarious and ask all the judgemental “wags” who are embarrassed to live from his man’s money – who is paying their holidays, who is sponsoring their wardrobe and who is paying their phone bills – because believe me that 90 percent of this girls to exactly that, take this kind of sponsorships from their man. And job? I realized that feeling sorry for myself definitely won’t help me and that when once I succeed also in my business way I will only appreciate it more, because I will know that I worked hard for it, that I can be proud on myself to get my dream job in foreign country, speaking foreign language.

And all of you speaking that you would never leave your life for him and start living his life… I understand you – not every person is strong enough to do that. Not every woman understand that leaving her life behind and go with her man means just creating new wonderful life with someone you truly love and believe in (isn’t that point of love, anyway? And isn’t love the strongest force in the universe?)

If you ask me if I would do it again – despite all I would always say: yes, yes and yes. My life is not my life anymore – my life is our life. I keep all the good things with me and add new good ones. Of course there are also bad sides – like not being able to have everything at the same time (love and job, hometown and foreign country, old and new friends, …) but that’s only happening that way so we can appreciate good things more…  how much more funny, happy, emotional times we are having with our families once we see them, than in the times when we were all the time together.

It’s your choice what is your opinion going to be and you have every right to think what you want, but before you judge any one, think before about that you never really “walked in their shoes”.

No matter what, I still love you guys ;)

Ania