Tuesday, February 7



Having friends… we all for sure have friends, even when you don’t think you have any – is there somebody who irritates you with honest comments, is there anybody who constantly argue with you, but don’t won’t to loose you even if (s)he don’t show that ? Yes? Than you have it!
But what means having friends when you are wag, when you are living a life of a wag?

I would say that then you have four different “groups” of friends... you know like when you have in normal life two groups of friends – one that really like you and loved to be your friend, and the other one that don’t like you but it’s good for them to be your friend (or the third one – if you are just so bitchy that they are afraid of you and it’s better to be your friend that “non-friend”. I am just joking! Or not... still remember the sumo girl I was afraid of in high school!)
So you understand what I mean with this selection of friends on groups – wag’s we also have first group friends like you do: our real friends (most from the past, non wags days) who stand by us no matter which country or fashion designer we change, no matter if we drink coffee together in a fancy restaurant or sitting on the sofa, with no make up, with messy hair and with our favourite cup of latte macchiato, speaking through Skype about random stuff. This are friends that are friends with you, because of you and they will stay with you forever, no matter distance and no matter if we saw each other just five times per year. They will always somehow make an effort to send you this one message or email just to let you know that they are there, thinking on you. And this are those kind of friends that even if not seeing them for months, once you are together you get a feeling that you never left. 
And than here is the second group of friends: same like in ordinary life – they are your “friends” because or is better for them to be your friends or because they “must” be your friends. With this I mean people like other players in your team and their spouse, people from club, managers, sponsors… don’t get me wrong – you can also have some awesome friendships with them, like I do, but let’s be honest there is also a lot of fake friendships. Like friendships with some other wags, because they are in the same shit like you are, especially when you just moved and you need some help and support, and you make friendship with some woman that you wouldn’t in your ordinary life because you just know that you don’t have anything in common, different interests, different values, different views on life. You both know what is the case and you don’t get disappointed. 
There are also some “friendships” with others because nobody in club wants to be the outsider (even if I learned from adorable wag in Kiel that sometimes that is the best option) and everybody wants to be nice to everybody (nobody wants to other people think that they are grumpy asholes).
 And you also want and need to have good relationship with people from club. But what I mean with “having good relations” is not licking their ass (and put everybody else in shit by telling things that are not their business) but a nice small talk and some nice honest gestures. 
Third group of friends are wags with whom you actually make an honest, nice friendship. Not because you need to be nice, not because you are forced to have some friends in new town, but because you really find a friend in them. And those kinds of friendships are always so supportive and awesome. First because she exactly understands your lifestyle (she understands you when you are sick of being “the women behind the bench”, she understands that you are afraid to sleep alone where guys are on the way, she understand you that even if he is tired from training that you need some help at home, she understands you when you get 1000 euros bill for phone) and because she is a) from some other great country and you learn so much about it, you learn all the stupid (vulgar) words, you discover all the great fashion designers or shops she tells you about, you try all the delicious country specialties, get drunk by their local drink & if you are lucky enough you even get invitation to visit them and so discover another great place on this great earth…. Or b) because she is your “local” girl and you can gossip with her about all the homeland news (about another bizarre news of Sanja Grohar or about Maja Raspopovic new gorgeous outfit), speak about last night sex in the group of other peoples when (hopefully) nobody understands you and comparing strangers to some our public know people. And because she brings you Argeta and Cedevita every time when she comes back from Slovenia. 
Those are really great friendships and you always feel so sorry when you have to leave them (or they leave you) while moving to next club, next town. It’s pretty hard and wired feeling at the same time, knowing that one with whom you maybe spend almost every day of your one or two years life, is going to be in some other country and you won’t see them so often, if you are going to see him ever again at all.
Group four, group about which I could write a lot but I won’t – there are two good reasons for that: first is that this post is already really long (and if you make it until here, than thank you so much J) and second – because I believe that if you talk about negative things you attract negative things. But still, I have to write down facts about this group. You know in this group are people who a) saw that you somehow did something from your life and they wants to remember that once upon a time they (knew you) were your friends and they would want to be at that place again. You know that are this ones who send you an inbox on Facebook (“Oooh heey, how are you? Did you move to Germany? Oh, you date a professional handball player? Are you going to merry him?… I saw your mom/dad/cousin/ grandpa yesterday. Ohh, how nice that we are in touch again”) and you exactly know what’s the point when you get their answer on polite replay that you are good and that yes you moved to Germany (“Oh, I was never in German. Know I’ll come on visit to you. Hahaha, just joking, but it would be great, you and me again like in old days.”) and b) are people with whom you actually are in some friendships but you see that they are friends with you just because they like to take advantages of you and you still pretend that you are stupid not realizing that, just because you are a peaceful chick who don’t won’t argue and who believes that there is something good in every person.
As you see, different kind of peoples, different kind of friendships… but that is something totally natural. It has to be this way… and I can say that being a wag give me a chance to meet so many great people, great friends. I could never believed that I will have friends from Iceland, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, Hungary, … and that they will all be so interesting, successful and cool!
And yes, I learned an important lesson: you can’t be friend with everybody – I tried that in my first “wag year” and is not possible – so my advice to you if you are wag: choose just few your real friends in every club with whom you will spend most of the time, but be nice and have small talk with everybody else.

Love, Ania.


  1. kar je res je res...:*

  2. se strinjam z vsem napisanim :)

  3. Ania. It seems that you had a lot of disappointment with so-called friends. Friend is a very precious word and believe me I do not have many friends in this world! I understand your feelings with moving from one place to the other and to leave maybe good "friends" behind. My motto is: keep smiling, be nice with everybody, no matter how old or young they are, no matter if they are black or white, not matter whether they are rich or poor. The most wonderful note I just received last week was from somebody I know who wrote me: "you must know, that it is always a great pleasure to be with you. Smiling, happy and always time for a chat. I really appriciate that and you. Big hug." Ania, these are the small notes which make your life easier. Keep on going. I love reading your blogs. Big kiss. U.

  4. Hello Ania,
    first of all I have to admit, that I have so much things to do today that I normally don’t have time to write you a comment to your post (I write 2 important exams at Friday and Monday). Well, actually I didn’t even have time to read your new blog. But I saw the preview on your facebook profile and couldn’t stop me. As I read your blog I noticed that I had to smile, to laugh and to sigh thinking about funny, happy and sad but always true points. I had associations to every kind of friendship you were talking about. I’m not a wag, but I have friends all over the world, in Kosovo, in Tunisia and Namibia, all different in culture and language. And I love it. It’s not always easy that they are so far away, that they can’t always hug you and be part of your every day life, but as you say you needn’t be sorry for some month of no contact just because you can leave a small message to let them know that everything is alright.
    I was born in Gummersbach and I never moved into another city (well, I study and live 120km away now but I’m still here every weekend and nearly every free minute in between), but through travelling and my job at the club, I got to know about these period-of-time friends. A lot of people have a problem to be open to others, when they know that they will only last for a small period in life near their home, like it is likely for athletes and their wifes. They try to keep a distance because then saying goodbye is not that sad. I think I learned that this distance keeps me from having a nice time with people that might be friends, but surely walk a part of way in life with me. And some are still walking with me although our geographic ways in life were separated from each other long time ago.
    Oh dear, my university stuff is waiting for me now and I wrote quite a lot.
    All I want to say now is thank you for – again – a wonderful post, Ania. I wish you a life full of real and honest friendships, understanding for your life as a wag and support for your work and goals.
    Yours, Nasti

  5. What a nice post again =)...Well I guess you can meet that kind of friends everywhere even if you aren't a wag (like me). I would love to know a solution how to not keeping up with the "false/fake" friends but I think sometimes you meet them.
    My last 2 years were kinda hard and well I think now I really know who are my real friends because only the once who cared about me and left these "small messages" made me happy again and they showed me I don't have to fight alone. I really liked your advice because I think its a smart advice even for women like me who aren't wags.
    So xoxo and keep on writing such nichts posts.

  6. Kako je ovo istinito. U svakoj rečenici sam prepoznala ljude i situacije iz svog života. I sad razmišljam o ovoj rečenici - "are people with whom you actually are in some friendships but you see that they are friends with you just because they like to take advantages of you and you still pretend that you are stupid not realizing that, just because you are a peaceful chick who don’t won’t argue and who believes that there is something good in every person." Opekla sam se toliko puta u posljednjih šest godina, svaki puta po istom principu i svejedno se bojim da ću uvijek tražiti to nešto dobro. Nekada bi zbilja bilo bolje biti "ona umišljena kučka". ;)